In a few days, I will be turning 29 and I can’t help but to think about how quickly my 20’s have come and gone. It feels like it was just yesterday when I was so thrilled to be turning 20. Thinking that being an adult was easy breezy, and realizing exactly how wrong I was. Not saying that being able to be independent, having that option of a glass of wine when you’re feeling stressed and managing your own life isn’t fun. Just that there are sooo many ups, downs and surprises that come along with it. They all played (and play) a very important role with who I was becoming and who I am, today.
If you would’ve asked me ten years ago, I would have gone down a list of expectations that I had for myself. I though I had it all figured out. Wanted to be married by a certain age, own a home, have a BMW, be rich and dress in the latest and most expensive pieces, be treated with the respect I knew I deserved in personal relationships and never be in a position to ever need anyone. Well .. let’s see… never been married, I do not own a home (yet), I drive a simple car, not rich enough to dress in all the latest fashion and refuse to break the bank trying to. And I treat myself only if I really love it. Also, I’ve dealt with a few disappointing and failed relationships that were all but healthy for me. When I say relationships, I mean both friends and romantic.
There were a lot of people I allowed in that were not really good for me, people who weren’t that interested in hearing about me doing well, had negative energy and were simply toxic. And I have a pretty tough exterior, but some folks really know how to pretend. My mother always brings up how easy it is for me to cut a person off since I was a child. I’ve always had a low tolerance for being crossed or disrespected. However, I tried to exercise patience and understanding in many cases and ended getting the short end of the stick. It wasn’t until after 27, that I began to think that I have to create my own happiness, and fill up my own cup – so that I am full for my family, friends and the amazing man I end up with. I need to be over flowing with joy and love to give it to those that I care for.
All through-out my twenties, I worried. Worried about whether I made the right decision, should I spend money on this, should I entertain this person I question or give another chance? But, the question I had pretty frequently, was should I confront them about mistreating me or be kind and move on? The answer … be kind and move on. A few years ago I felt that if I didn’t say anything, the other person won. I learned, that is far from the reality. To walk away from something that adds no value to your being, is strength.
Around 25 years old I started to really focus on leveling up, mentally. Letting go and letting God. Realizing that no matter how bad a person treated me, the truest test was in how I reacted. There’s more power in learning the lesson and simply moving on. When you feel like you want to ‘win’ or ‘get back’… starve that emotion. It will bother you for a little while, but only because it’s a growing pain. Life is about growing and thriving. My twenties hit my like a ton of bricks. It really opened my eyes, and I am finally understanding life right before entering the last year of 20.
10 Things I learned in my 20’s
- Work on self-awareness.
- Never follow the crowd.
- Handle yourself with respect and others will follow.
- Red flags? You exit left, quick.
- Trust your instincts. Had I done this, I could’ve avoided many situations.
- Practice self-love (meditate, yoga, exercise, read, PRAY, travel)
- Learn to be alone.
- Take care of your creative health, never starve your vision.
- Don’t let your expectation of life box you in.
- Never chase or beg for anything or anyone.
Take chances and step outside your comfort zone. It was so scary stepping back into the blog world, because I knew I had to share ME. Be vulnerable. Yes, I’ve blogged before, and it was much easier then as my younger old self. But as I grew over the years, I became very selective with who I allowed in to know the core me. And a lot of back and forth, I also realized that maybe … just maybe my experiences and what I have to say, the things I love and share will inspire someone else.
With that be said, I am still finding my way. Life will always be a challenge. Ride your own wave and stay true to you.